August 18th, 2006
As some of you may well be aware of, I am now working for myself and freelancing, the downside of this is the fact that my time has been eaten up somewhat and that is my reason for the theme this time (hehe… I said time already).
I am not unhappy at the fact that my time is being used to build up a future for myself and my family and things are working out not too bad at the moment… I promise to write over the weekend but until then I’ll leave you with this weeks installment of Bad Joke Friday, and just so you know… I am not ticking the piss!
I guess I should get you all started so here goes:
A man walks into an antiques store and the owner turns around and says sorry, I haven’t got TIME to serve you just now. The guy says to the shop owner, does that mean I am getting a SECOND chance cause I could really do with a HAND to fix my clock…
OMG that was bad! I hope yours are just as bad or even worse…
August 4th, 2006
Back once again with the most rediculous Friday activity you can get your hands on, it’s Bad Joke Friday and this time I am going for an animal theme. Feel free to do your worst with making jokes up and brightening up my day with some puns and wordplays that are enough to make anyone groan…
Yup, all in the name of good fun so in true Bad Joke Friday style I will start you off…
Newsman on telly: …and for our next story, raging cattle are on the rampage across four states in America, 18 people have been killed and 9 have been injured but I guess you have probably herd all of this…
July 28th, 2006
Yee Haa! Just been wakeboarding with the family, the Scottish Waterski Centre happens to be a just a couple of miles from where I live so yesterday I went out with my Dad to check it out and had a quick session and today I returned with the whole family for some action.
I have been wanting to do this for a while, I used to water ski years ago and loved it so wanted to get up there and try it. Not only that but I reckon it is about time that me and the family got active and did something fun that we all enjoy doing together.
Charlotte was a little scared yesterday and copped out of standing up on the bar but today she managed to stand and even gave the rope a try. It is really cool watching your kids face their fears and persivere with something they want to do but are a little frightened, I really want to do more things like this as it is not just good fun but I get to spend non argue time with the ones I love.
I think it helped that Caroline went on first, she took the bull by the horns even though she was out for a drink yesterday showing a relative the sites & bars around Edinburgh. The look on her face was a picture when she first got in the water and then also when she was standing for the first time, I love the feelgood factor of watching folk do things for the first time and also getting to share the excitement they are going through. Caz managed to progress to the rope and was pretty comfortable with going around the corner when it came to turning at the end.
Yesterday I was a little ropey when it came to the wakeboarding, my posture was a mess and when I tried to do a little jump on the wake I bailed out and ate plenty of water, it then took me about 3 attempts to get back up event though I had gotten up first time when I got in the water.
Today was a slightly different story, I was probably still buzzing from my riding yesterday but today felt real good and I even managed to get about a foot of air over the wake.
Would’ve been nice to actually been nice to clear the wake but I guess that is for another day as I know for a fact that we are going to go back again. I don’t think we will go for a membership just yet but it looks like everyone enjoyed themselves so we will return ad hoc a few times and see if we can get Charlotte standing on the rope…
Oh yeah… One last thing, in case you are wondering what Elsie was up to whilst we were doing all this…
July 28th, 2006
Alright folks, I have been out wakeboarding today so excuse the slightly late Bad Joke Friday post. The topic for this Friday is Electrical Goods! I am quite astounded at how difficult it is to give a good handle for creating a joke, I believe there is perhaps a science behind making a devastatingly bad joke or even a funny one at that. I have a lot respect for those of you that have been good enough to contibute to my little project and I hope that we can continue to experiment with laughter.
Without much further ado I present you with my opener…
A toaster goes to the Dr and says “Doctor, Doctor… I don’t appear to be getting any power…”
Dr says “leccy see what we can do about that…”
July 21st, 2006
Once again we return for some bad joke action in Bad Joke Friday and this time I have decided that some fun and games could be had with food. For those of you that are new to Bad Joke Friday, it is pretty straight forward, all you need to do is try and make up jokes based on the theme or if you can make a pun somewhere along the line then feel free.
You better be quick on the draw though as Mr Paul Samat seems to be on fire and I have to give credit where credit is due, his jokes suck ass to the point of hillarity and I hope you all join in.
I will start you off with a Samat original…
Q: What is the difference between a loaf of hovis and an alsatian dog?
A: They are different breeds!
July 14th, 2006
Yikes, I need to wake up… Spent the morning in the park with the family and then came back to do some freelance stuff and I once again forgot it was Friday.
Well here it is folks, I leave it in your capable hands, Bad Joke Friday #4 will be a Cowboy Theme so have some fun with it and see what jokes you can make.
I will start it off again with this:
Q: What does a Wild West Marshall say to an illegally parked cowboy?
A: Mooove along please!
July 7th, 2006
Alright folks, I have been out this morning but here I am and ready for action, today’s theme is the Paranormal. Please have fun with it, for those that don’t know what this is, Bad Joke Friday is a way to cut loose with the inner joker / pun maker and make up your own stuff based on the theme for the day.
To start you off:
2 Ghosts walked Through a bar…
See what I mean? Crap! I’ll leave you to it!
June 30th, 2006
Here we are folks, Bad Joke Friday returns with the Underwater theme… feel free to let loose with the worst you can and I look forward to joining in… I will start you off right now with:
2 fish walk into a bar, one says to the other… What the f**k is that doing here?
Enjoy folks!
UPDATE: I should point out that the object of this is to make up jokes based on the theme, they can be as bad as you like or just be a play on words that’ll make anyone groan.
June 28th, 2006
Oh my god…. The Spiderman 3 teaser trailer has appeared for us to enjoy. I am a huge spiderman fan as some of you may know and I have been looking forward to this for a while, well since the last film actually 
Man I wish I had HD on all of my hardware, my mate has an HD projector that I am very envious of, he put me onto the teaser last night and then told me he was off to download it in HD and check it on his projector… What a dick!!!
Please let me know what you think of the trailer, I know it has my movie juices flowing 
The next thing on the cards definitely has to be the Transformers movie which will no doubt be awesome too although it isn’t out until next year… bummer huh?
What movies are you looking forward to? Am I missing anything else that I should really be turning my attention to? Caroline just rearranged our living room yesterday which means I can now use my Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound system again when watching movies, you have no idea how sad I am, I have taken to listening to films almost more than watching them when i have the digital sound.
Lord only knows how many times I have watched the rescue of Morpheus in The Matrix at extreme volume and gotten a boner when the mini gun goes off and I can hear shells falling behind me and water splashing up my walls and bullets fly past my ears… The bit where Neo dodges the agents bullets for the first time as they scream out of a Desert Eagle towards him is just one of the best sounds ever…
Geez… that got me started!
June 8th, 2006
Right I dunno how easy or how hard this is going to be to pull off because a lot of puns are down to the pronunciation and this is a blog where nobody else can hear each other but here goes anyway…
As some of you know I am a big fan of both word play and also of bad jokes, I have decided that I would like to run a bad joke day every Friday in an attempt to broaden my repertoire and have a laugh at the same time. Chis and company over at Brainfuel have got the caption contest covered so I figured I should go down a slightly different path and get some good old fashioned humor on the go.
To add a twist, I will allocate a theme every Friday and it is open season for jokes based on whatever topic I set. I have seen myself play this for hours with some friends (I am thinking you here Mr Paul) and it always amuses me.
Todays theme is Lord of the Rings.
A few weeks ago I was set the same challenge as I have set you and I chose it because I am curious to see what other people come up with. I think one of the better ones that I managed was:
Q: Who was the first person from Lord of the Rings to hit the no. 1 slot in the charts?
A: Elfish Presley
See what I mean? I love bad jokes, especially ones that make me groan! I tend not to read jokes if they are too long in my mail box but I will certainly enjoy seeing what you can come up with…
Enjoy…
