May 9th, 2008
Just a quick one to start you all off, been a while since I did a bad joke Friday and I am on my lunch so figured I would post one.
This Friday the topic is Robots and here’s one to start you off.
Q: Did you here about the robot that transformed into a bar?
Have fun folks…
January 11th, 2008
After a too long of an absense the great Bad Joke Friday returns and this time we have a computer games theme for you to get stuck into. I’m sure many of you out there have dabbled at some point so come and get stuck in with some Friday bad humor. The rules are quite simple, make em up and cmake em bad 
As always I am obliged to get you started so here goes:
Q: What was the kleptomaniac called in Halo?
A: Master Thief
October 20th, 2007
This morning I sat down to answer some comments on the site and ended up having quite an amusing conversation with my friend Nick. To give you some background he was tossing a coin at his end of MSN a while ago and saying heads or tails, needless to say I whipped him at a game of Scissors, Paper, Stone… Check it out:
the fox says: rock paper scissors
the fox says: ready
the fox says: paper
Alan says: i won the coin toss so you sure you want to play me
the fox says: yes
the fox says: that was one test of skill
the fox says: there are many
the fox says: you say go
Alan says:go
the fox says: or 3 2 1?
the fox says: rock
Alan says: paper
the fox says: see
Alan says: I win
Alan says: go
the fox says: that’s why the internet
the fox says: go
Alan says: go
the fox says: scissors
Alan says: stone
Alan says: I win
the fox says: this proves my argument
Alan says: go
the fox says: life/time/any delay in communication involves an answer and a reply
Alan says: go ffs or are you scared
the fox says: you have to beat me, if I let you
the fox says: scared? I could kill you with an axe, IM not scared
the fox says: paper
Alan says: scissors
Alan says: ha you suck
the fox says: hhahahhahhaha
October 6th, 2007
Hi lovely readers of Az, Caz & Co, I am Alan’s beloved photoshoped monkey and I am sorry that you are all missing me. I have been working on standing in the corner of Az, Caz & Co for over a year now and Alan decided to give me a rest and paid for me to go on a little holiday whilst he lays down the dust sheets, cracks open the paints and does a little work around the place.
Don’t worry, I really like working for Alan and I will be back… Until then I will try and send you some postcards.
Lots of love and respec’
MoNkEy x
August 14th, 2007
Life… what a broad topic, there are many aspects to it and maybe I will cover them all one day but the one I want to cover just now is maintaining focus. Over the last few months I have been a very busy man and this is a topic that is very close to my heart as it is not an easy task. How do you balance the equilibrium of life and also maintain focus? How do you make sure you do what you are supposed to do on all fronts, who do you turn to for support how do you know if you are going in the right directions?
I recently discovered an energy drink called Relentless and I love their ethos and taglines…
It’s goodbye to the shortcuts, Hello to the grind.
Nobody ever said it would be and easy ride. Suffer for your art.
Words that have rung hard in my ears quite heavily over the past few months. Last year I got made redundant which was a bit of a blow, first thing I did when I found out was hit the pub and started smoking again, but what I have done since then I am very proud of.
So… by now you might get an idea of how hectic my life has been, it hasn’t been easy but somehow I have managed to drive through it all. I’m not going to lie, some of it has been hard, some of it has been down right fun… most of it has been a combination of both but in order to survive, I have to maintain focus, set goals and strive for them.
How do you maintain focus? How do you set your goals?
I am in the process of trying to decide where I want to be going, I know that now I am (dare I say) established in what I do work wise, I need make sure I keep that going. Without work I cannot function and I guess this is where my dilema lies but where I also believe my solution is staring at me.
To have a true balance in my focus, I need to remember who I am and the things in life that enjoy.
I want to settle into a 9 to 5 routine with work, to do this I need to fine tune my business model, calander, working days and make sure that I make the time to do this in my schedule whilst keeping clients happy.
My problem is that there is always something that needs done, client work is not the only thing you do in business, I have my own projects that I want to get off the ground beyond my client work.. This blog for example used to be a key part of my online presence… in fact… it is my presence, it has been my heart and soul for the last couple of years and will continue to be.
The number one rule I am learning is that time waits for no man… be it’s master!.
I think something that is key and another valuable lesson that I am slowly learning is that switching off completely can be a very good thing and is something I plan to do a lot more of.
It’s goodbye to the shortcuts, Hello to the grind.
Nobody ever said it would be and easy ride. Suffer for your art.
I stand by this quote and this ethos but I am looking forward to embracing the other side of my life a little more.
Since I began working from home I have been a bit of a hermitt, not just to the outside world but also from my family to an extent, I POP over to read what Matt Brett is getting up to now and again and he seems to have the work / family thing dialed.
I became a step parent nearly 5 years ago now and it has not been the easiest of jobs, I have chosen not to write about the negatives in the past because they are not important, it is the good times that are. Part of the reason I continue to work from home is that I get to spend time (however limited) with the kids even if sometimes it can be heated.
Caroline is nearly finished training as a recruitment consultant and since she has been out at work, I have taken the role of errr… working house bloke… general all round batter, try to the best I can do. I personally think I am not doing too bad a job, I get Elsie to nursery in the mornings, pick her up at night and try to make sure we get to play on the swings on the way home. Charlotte is a slightly different kettle of fish, sometimes we get on fine (and I know there is more there) and sometimes we fight.
I guess when it comes to Charlotte I will be the enemy for at least another 10 years, I don’t know why but I am quite stern with her, I don’t think that is a bad thing to be honest but it has to be counter balanced with the good times. The look on her face when she succeeded at waterskiing was timeless and I want to see more looks like that, I want to take care of the work side so that ultimately I can do more fun things where I can actually be looked up to and asked for help.
I have to give Caroline a special mention here as she is the other half of me, we work so bloody hard at the moment that we never really get that much time together and I miss it dearly, I know she does too. It is so easy to get get caught up in a routine and forget to take yourselves out of it, this one of my new primary goals… spend more time with the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with!
It isn’t easy moving away from your friends to a strange city, buying a house in a town where you know anybody, doing nothing other than working, eating and mostly dealing with cabin fever. Don’t get me wrong, I have made some good friends as I have said earlier but we are somewhat missing the baby sitter network we once had so we don’t get out much any more and we are both quite social creatures.
I love the girl to bits and it is about time I showed her I am as passionate about her as I am about all the other things I get up to.
Work, my kids and the love of my life are the most important things in the world to me and if all the things I have talked about happen then I will be a happy man… but what about the selfish side?
In order for anyone to survive and be happy in life they need to do things that they enjoy, their personal hobbies and goals that they keep to that make them who they are. I have been playing EVE Online to unwind at nights but want something more, I want to take up a hobby that gets me out the house, keeps me fit, makes me friends and gives me something to do outside of work and family.
As you all know I am into my martial arts so have decided to go back to Judo, I was a green belt years ago and used to fight in competitions on a regular basis and did quite well. I like the idea of going back because it is a sport and not just combat, I will get a chance to compete at something again and get healthy in the process. Now that sounds constructive.
It’s goodbye to the shortcuts, Hello to the grind.
Nobody ever said it would be and easy ride. Suffer for your art.
I quote these words one more time in closure, I have talked about many aspects of my life in this article but they all hark back to maintaining focus. I like my life, I like the people around me, I miss the people that are no longer in my life on a daily basis but I look forward to the future.
By maintaining focus, anything is possible, it’s time to reach out and grab the future with both hands and see where it takes me, I hope you’ll continue to join me for the ride…
March 18th, 2007
Holy cow! I was just over at Subsector and found a juicy as hell snippet of information that has just made my day. As if EVE Online is not good enough already, it looks like they are going to allow you to leave your ship and walk about space stations in the not too distant future. I have to say this is a really interesting development and you can watch the video over at Ten Ton Hammer.
Eve online is a game of truely epic proportions and it looks like the size went epic+1… That’s big in my book!
December 11th, 2006
This is just a quick post but on making a new acquaintance today I figured I would share a stroke of genius that you all will benefit from. Say goodbye to office fighting on the “who makes the coffee” front and sign yourselves up for an account at Milk & Two.
Welcome to MILK&TWO, a site designed to take the hassle out of making tea for your workmates and buddies.
The idea is that you sign-up (creating a group as you go) and invite people around you. When someone wants a drink they put in a request and drinks are made once the number of requests hits a “critical mass”. Someone is chosen at random to make the requested drinks.
Go on… sign up for Milk & Two, you know you want to…
November 30th, 2006
If I could have any sort of computer rig it would involve this, what would you choose in your ideal rig? Mine would also have a beer dispenser and something to do with JD & Coke seeing as I am going to move my computer into my boys room / office.
November 16th, 2006
Dunno how many of you are cartoon fans but I have been watching a really fun series recently called OBAN Star Racers. The series is made by a French studio called Sav! The World Productions and in their words…
The result of six years of development and two and a half years of intensive production in Tokyo and Paris, Ōban Star-Racers sets itself apart from other series by the quality of its 2D/3D animation and its attention to detail – carefully crafted designs, rich characters and story – which are similar to those usually found only in feature films.
The show has been running on Jetix and I have had immense fun watching the omnibus on Sunday mornings. They have been showing the program every day at 5:30pm and then showing an entire weeks worth of the show on sundays which meant a full 2.5 hours of total OBAN immersion, unfortunately I missed the beginning but this has all changed now.
They are actually showing the series again from the beginning and there is an episode every morning at 8:30am which is the perfect run in to my day. Yes, I am a sucker for a good cartoon but this one has made me stand up and take notice, I think the only other one to really have that effect on me would have to be the Spiderman cartoon which I used to get up and watch on a Saturday morning no matter how drunk I got the night before lol…
Here is a quick summary of the story…
Every 10.000 years, the greatest pilots in the universe face-off in a mysterious and mythical race: the Great Race of Ōban. It is said the outcome of the competition will radically transform the balance of power within our Galaxy…
Sav! The World Productions
The series spans a total of 26 episodes and has a pretty good storyline, okay, the die hard anime fans would probably say it is panzy assed bullshit but I like it and would recommend it to anyone. There are a host of cool characters in the races, one of my favorites being Spirit who is a character that actually morphs into his star racer and has a bizarre face within a face…
A face within a face…
Morphed into a star racer
A close up shot of Spirit
The actual star racer ships are all quite cool as well, they basically get launched into each race track and then have to scan for the actual gateways they need to race through in order to win the race. Once they have found them it is no holds barred with each ship having all sorts of weaponry and several of the racers get upgraded throughout the series also.
There are tonnes of pics over at the Unofficial UK Ōban Star Racers site so I won’t post any more as this is beginning to eat into my morning but I just thought I would share my morning joy with everyone as this truly is a kick ass series!
WATCH IT!
October 17th, 2006
Whilst trawling my RSS feeds today I found out that my friend over at Renegade Zen has taken the time to make himself into a South Park Character using a rather fun tool over at http://www.sp-studio.de/. He has encouraged everyone else to take part so here is mine…
I look forward to seeing what you all get up to with this so please ping us both back so we can check ‘em out.
Have fun!
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