Bad Joke Friday #2 – Underwater Theme
30 Jun 2006
Here we are folks, Bad Joke Friday returns with the Underwater theme… feel free to let loose with the worst you can and I look forward to joining in… I will start you off right now with:
2 fish walk into a bar, one says to the other… What the f**k is that doing here?
Enjoy folks!
UPDATE: I should point out that the object of this is to make up jokes based on the theme, they can be as bad as you like or just be a play on words that’ll make anyone groan.
Comments
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Davy
June 30th, 2006
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Man I will let you off witht he first but you should be shot for the 2nd… maybe I should make it compulsory to try and make em up…
Davy
June 30th, 2006
ok alan as you didnt specify at 1st that i had to make up jokes and not remember them from school here is one :
Q : Why did the fish cross the road.
A : It was in the wrong plaice
Davy
June 30th, 2006
and another.
Q : which fish is the best at bar games
A : A pool shark
Davy
June 30th, 2006
same theme.
Q : which fish would be best to borrow money from
A : A loan shark
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: What do they sing at Christmas under the sea?
A: Shark! The herring angels sing, glory to, our new prawn king!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Seaweed are really bad jokes man!
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
What is purple and lives in the sea and weighs 5000 pounds?
Moby Plum
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
What’s the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Nice!
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
There were two fish in a tank. One of them said to the other: “How do you drive this thing?”
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut it’s nose off
Alan
June 30th, 2006
You’re cheating Weeb ;-)
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : were do fish unload their cargo
A : In the had-dock, cod damm it
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Definitely some fishy jokes going on!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: Which 70′s rock group lived underwater?
A: Deep Blue
Alan
June 30th, 2006
and did a track…
“Smoke under water!”
hahahahahaha
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : How can you tell if a fish is enjoying itself.
A : Its having a whale of a time
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
sorry,
knock, knock.
who’s there
a fish
comic genius I think you’ll agree!
Davy
June 30th, 2006
2 Fish sitting in a bar. 1 fish says to the other ‘do you think i could down this pint in one go’. The other replies ‘I trout it’
My shittest yet haha
Weeb
June 30th, 2006
what did one fish say to the other fish?
nothing, they are fish…duh!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: How can you tell if someone is nervous underwater?
A: They get clamy hands
Napfisk
June 30th, 2006
What’s the biggest turn-off for a fish? Fish net stockings. Aargh!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Aargh indeed!
Si Jobling
June 30th, 2006
Two lesbian fish are going at it. One says to the other “Can you smell fish?”
(Sorry)
Alan
June 30th, 2006
no apologies needed man… keep ‘em coming!!
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : Which fish is the biggest asshole in the sea.
A : The brown eyed starfish
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Did you know that if you enter the ever so popular “Red Sea Poker Tour” and win the whole thing, you will be totally squids in!
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : Why wont the oyster buy a round
A : Cos its so Shellfish
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: How come the sea isn’t full of shit when there are so many fish?
A: They’ve all had anemone’s
… please shoot me!
karmatosed
June 30th, 2006
old usual:
what’s yellow and dangerous?
shark infested custard….
the age old standby from a christmas cracker :)
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Oh jesus… I re-itterate… please shoot me!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: Why are hermit crabs considered mean
A: Because they never shell out for stuff!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: Which Web 2.0 company was funded by a VC company at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Netvibes!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: What do you get if you get if you cross the king of rock and roll with a sea dweller?
A: Eelfish Presley
caz
June 30th, 2006
How many men does it take to put the bins out at night?….
None … Or well Iv never found one that will do it when asked!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Hey babes, glad you could join us xxx
Davy
June 30th, 2006
How many caz’z does it take to understand the subject of the joke.
Dont know havent found any yet.
Chris Tingom
June 30th, 2006
Fish swims up next to a muscle and says “have you been working out lately?”
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Man I was just on ym way over to your site when I got a gmail notification saying you’d posted lol…
Chris Tingom
June 30th, 2006
Above water we have the electric grid. Under water they have the electric eel grid.
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Man that’s one eel of a joke!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Ha ha… we’ll all go to eel for such bad jokes!
Alan
June 30th, 2006
err… I dunno water think of all fish
nilmunny
June 30th, 2006
whats the most popular apparatus for underwater gymnasts…..
The sea horse!!!
word!
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : Why did the fish get chucked out the band.
A : The bass was out of tuna.
Alan
June 30th, 2006
TOP MARKS!!!
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Q : Whats a fishes favourite type of music
A : Northern sole
Davy
June 30th, 2006
Did you hear about the deaf fish. It needed a herring aid.
Alan
June 30th, 2006
Q: What is a very popular underwater meal.
A: mackereloni Cheese
brian w.
June 30th, 2006
So, I didn’t make this one up, but it’s funny.
Q: What does the fish say when it runs into a concrete wall?
A: Dam.
Alan
June 30th, 2006
lol…. a true classic!
Well all I can say to everyone is thanks for taking part, the day isn’t finished yet so keep them coming, I know you have them dug deep down so let go of your emotions and let your humor glad loose…
It really is quite liberating!
Charlie
June 30th, 2006
Man something smells fishy here,
What do you call a fish with one eye
fsh…..
Lynda
July 1st, 2006
tanks for the underwater theme – it seems to have gone swimmingly!
Ronnie says – “you shouldn’t oughter water down jokes – you won’t be able to distill the essence of the humour”
and ” the trouble with water is….fish pee in it…..that’s why the Scots invented whiskey – it disinfects the water” ok, no more drink for him tonight!
thought we’d join in – be the sole of the party
you cod use some humour in the right plaice.
some people find any fin funny..
remember to wave goodbye.
Confucious say: time, tide and diahorrea wait for no man. BRB – potty break
OK – lastly – from Ronnie again – string these answers together, and say them out loud in an Irish accent:
largest sea mammal.
Offshore industry produces this 3 letter word beginning with O.
Another word for meat beginning with B.
the tenth month in three letters.
how do you rate this on a scale of 1-10?
Hope you haven’t been submerged too long.
Alan
July 4th, 2006
Yikes…. you brought my comments to a standstill, I am gonna have to go and have a think about this one!
Lynda
July 5th, 2006
Soz Az – but we are 6 hours behind you, so in a way, we had extra time to think about it. hmmm – time travel – could that be lead to a paradoxical theme?
Lynda
July 5th, 2006
BTW- when I posted this and the previous – it was still the 4th July for me – Independance Day and all that.
Alan
July 5th, 2006
What a great idea for a theme Lynda, I am currently making a list of things I would like to do as themes so will add that to the list.
Hope you had a good 4th!
Simon
July 7th, 2006
These wrotten jokes are starting to go septic, whats the theme for this week dude?
esqnbvlccs
June 21st, 2007
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! yzfdecsavryopa
Shelby
July 22nd, 2008
Did you hear the joke about the slippery eel?
You wouldn’t be able to grasp it.
KSMIK
February 5th, 2009
Q why do sea seagulls fly up side down over pakistan seas
A paki fish are not worth shitting on
sorry had to say it
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